The past ages of eternity were forgotten in that moment when I was privileged, for the first time, to look down upon the earth. The joys, the achievements, the progress, the infinite happiness and the glory of perfection became factors of secondary importance. The one great, all-engrossing reality was the scene before me of a world so lost in darkness and so engulfed in error and filled with suffering I felt my heart would break. Compassion and love poured from me in overwhelming waves of tenderness as I beheld the earth. It was a world where the great Light had become submerged in an ignorance of blinding unbelief. And yet the Light was everywhere. The Light was the one great, eternal reality of infinite glory. Yet that Light had become buried in an ignorance of overwhelming digression as man had wandered from the TRUTH.
As I stood weeping over a world so filled with darkness, so lost in evils and so unaware of the Light, I was permitted to behold every human being upon it. I gazed upon the continents and beheld the nations, the cities, the hamlets and the far places where few human beings dwelt. I beheld the abodes of mankind and the individuals who inhabited them. And in their hearts and upon the whole earth was only the gloom of darkness -- and the hand of death waiting for its victims.
It was as though the whole world was enfolded in a dim, gray veil of eternal twilight. It was a twilight in which no radiant sunset left its lingering glow of passing beauty or its warm, caressing touch. That appalling gloom engulfed the entire planet and every human being upon it. The great eternal Light of Christ was uncomprehended simply because it had been rejected. Even the slightest knowledge of ITS great effulgence and ITS unutterable power was unknown.
When I could finally concentrate my energies to look beyond the darkness of that enfolding, somber veil, I beheld that every individual was wading in mud. And that mud was the sad result that had been created through each individual's actions and reactions to earth's conditions and to mortality. The more an individual clung to the gross, physical things of earth the more the mud clung to the individual. Some were only slightly soiled by it as their feet stepped lightly along the paths of earth. Their defilement was in a lesser degree.
There were others, however, who literally wallowed in the mire; and there were a few who were completely immersed in it. The muddy slime was smeared over their faces and in their hair and their fingers dripped with it. Of all the in habitants of the earth there was not a single soul who was not, in some degree, struggling through the defiling influences of mortality. Both the mud and the darkness were conditions which had been created by man and had become so universally accepted they were taken for granted. They were conditions that were completely accepted and unchallenged.
The most tragic part was the knowledge that each individual was stirring up his own muck without realizing that he alone was responsible for his condition. It was heartbreaking to behold. The whole world was completely enslaved by the great ignorance. There was not a single soul upon the entire earth who had even the slightest idea of the Light of Christ, though It had been mentioned so many times in their inspired scriptures and through various revelations. All were so engrossed in the mud and the darkness they seemed to comprehend naught but the physical world and that which pertained to it.
Much of earth's energy was being directed to the invention of mechanical wonders and those mechanical wonders were claiming the rest of mankind's energy just to operate them. Each invention only increased the darkness and the fears, the errors and the evils and individual unprogressiveness as those same inventions took over the mind of man. Man's absorption in the inventions prevented him from making the great inner soul search so necessary for releasing the divine Christ Light. Each man carries that Light within himself -- and knows it not. "The Light of Christ is given to abide in every man who cometh into the world." But because of the great ignorance, man walks in darkness and under condemnation.
As I watched the earth and poor struggling humanity, love poured out from me in overwhelming waves of sorrowing compassion. I would gladly have given my very existence -- even my soul, to have in some way helped to reveal that divine Christ Light, and the source of it. In that great time, before the now, I comprehended fully the powers of that Light. I realized that Christ's Light alone could bring the great healing to a world so submerged in darkness and engulfed in suffering. I also comprehended and knew fully that the great Light was everywhere. I knew that It was concentrated in the soul of every man, awaiting only man's acceptance of It in order that It could be brought forth with Its unutterable powers.
Yes, the Light was everywhere. It was in all creation and all created things. It was given to abide in all men and in all realms and all kingdoms. There is no place in existence where His Light is not. It is even in the darkness, and the darkness comprehends it not. And though the Light is everywhere, the earth was seemingly a planet devoid of It for the simple reason that man did not comprehend the Light, and so rejected It because of the great ignorance of the ages. The world was entirely engulfed in the darkness because man was completely unaware of that divine Light which had been given to abide right within himself. Because of that rejection man was submerged in the gloominess and the negative conditions of earth. The sins and evils and heart-rending sorrows and sufferings of the ages became their mortal heritage.
As I lingered to behold the dusky obscurity and its consequent evils, I felt that I would melt in a compassion so tender and so intense it would consume me. My soul cried as it yearned in indescribable sorrow and infinite love. A burning desire to be permitted to go to earth to help reveal His Light filled my being.
"If only I could go down to a world so lost in darkness," I thought, as I lingered there in tender sorrow. "I could help man comprehend the Light. It would no longer be rejected and remain inactive and impotent in the lives of the children of men. I am sure I could help to make It manifest upon the earth. The great Light is everywhere! Only the earth is completely unaware of It! And because of their unawareness it is as though the Light were not.
"Oh, dear God, please have mercy upon the world! Have mercy, God!" I breathed.
As I thus stood in yearning, filled with infinite love, my sorrow enfolded a world lost in darkness and despair. My sorrow seemed deeper than any sorrow ever known on earth. It seemed more intense and more heartbreaking. No earthly sorrow can outlive a lifetime and usually earth's sorrows are for but a few hours. Rarely are they for more than a few days, weeks or months. My sorrow enfolded a world and many, many lifetimes, for generation upon generation was involved -- and every human being was enfolded in my yearning compassion. My grief encompassed the entire history of the earth and every individual upon it.
It was while I thus stood, yearning in tender compassion over a dark and dreary world, that a messenger of Light touched me gently and announced in awed love, "It is your turn to go to earth. I have come to summon you to the council chamber of God, that you might be sent direct from His throne."
There is no language, not even in heaven, to bespeak the glory surging in my heart and the joy that sang in my soul as I heard those endearing words. My request, though unspoken and unexpressed, was to be fulfilled! My desire to go to earth was granted! A reverence and devotion of almost overwhelming gratitude filled my being. Of all the joys of eternity that one alone lingers in my memory as the greatest.
I was ushered into a great hall of glory. The floors and walls were of precious stones, in which the life energies were plainly visible. The stones were alive! All stones are living, but in the world of Spirit that life is discernible and apparent. At the time I was neither impressed nor astonished at the splendor of that vibrating life. It was later in mortality, when I recalled the occasion, that I marveled over the ability to behold the living life essence in substance, especially in stones.
It was many years later, when I had finally comprehended the living vibrance of atoms and life's flowing essence of eternal spirit substance, that I also comprehended that in the higher world one can behold the life energies in their true spirit form in all substance and in all things. But for many years that memory only filled me with a marveling awe and a deep wonder.
At the far end of the great, glorious room was a platform, a stage, or a raised area, with seven circular steps which led upward to that elevated summit. At the top was a glorified throne of vibrating light. Each step leading up to it was composed of a precious, living gem, in color like a rainbow hue. Each step was a blending color with the stone above and the stone below. Together they held the living radiance of the rainbow, revealed in its perfection as they displayed the life essence of the divine, spiritual substance of which they were composed.
I was neither interested in nor concerned with the precious jewels of living beauty, nor with the vastness of the room, nor in the throne of living Light. Christ was seated on that throne and He held all my attention and all the concentrated powers of my love and adoration centered in humble devotion.
As I beheld Him I went down upon my knees in loving gratitude and yielding reverence. Every fibre and cell of my entire being reached out in utter and complete surrender and in an adoration as alive and vibrant as my intelligence could offer. My gratitude for the privilege of being sent to earth was singing from my heart in a symphony of humble praise. My very devotion was so deep and intense and love-filled I wondered how I could ever rise to my feet and cross the intervening space to that great throne -- where He sat waiting.
I still have no recollection of how I traversed the distance. I only recall kneeling upon the second or third step, bowed in humble adoration and infinite, overwhelming love.
And He called me by my name, the name that was given and reaffirmed at birth. "Annalee, you have been privileged to come here to make any request you may desire for your sojourn on earth. You may be born a princess and rule as a queen, if you so desire. You may have any or all of the talents you request. You may have wealth and honor, or any gift, or gifts, you wish."
I kneeled silent and still, unable to express the overwhelming yearning crying in my soul. I was choked with the burden of my request; it was so intense. How could I possibly express my overpowering desire? How would it be possible to explain that I desired no special position, no particular talents, no honors or wealth or physical gifts? How could I express the spiritual yearning that burned within my heart? The intense desire crying within seemed inexpressible. The yearning to be privileged to go to earth in the hope and the assured belief that I could help dispel the great ignorance and reveal the Christ Light because I comprehended it so well, was still beyond my power to utter. Speechless and dumb, I knelt in an intensity of longing too deep to express even in the world of Spirit.
The living essence of my unspoken prayer vibrated out and revealed itself as I could never have done. The Christ Light released within that longing in my soul made Its own petition known, expressing clearly the things I had no power to reveal.
And then He answered and His words were a song of utter glory vibrating through my soul. Softly, gently and with penetrating love, He said, "I understand your desire. It shall be granted. I am so pleased that this is your request. There have been others who have had similar desires. Fear not, you will accomplish much."
I looked up then, weeping for joy. He smiled and His love poured out in a glory that filled my heart and my soul and the vast, gorgeous room -- and, I am sure, even the universe thrilled with it also.
So it was that I received my assignment and my ordination and was sent to earth with a destiny resting upon me that was far greater than I.
Needless to say, I was born without talents or wealth or position.
My infancy and childhood were spent in being thoroughly initiated into the mud in all its most earthly aspects of suffering, lack and its harsh unloveliness. The very darkness seemed to concentrate upon an effort to destroy me before my work was ever begun.
By the time I had reached fourteen there was little left of dreams or hope or joy or happiness. I hated life. I hated this world and everything upon it. And out of that ugliness a whisper arose from deep within that left a disturbing feeling that some day I was to write.
When I was sixteen, that dream seemed to clarify itself more substantially as it whispered a little louder of things that were meant to be; then for one moment, on a summer's day, I caught a glimpse of perfection. It was only a glimpse that thrilled and vibrated through my being in living ecstasies -- and then was gone -- driven out by discords, harshness and the ugliness of all existing things in my life scope.
It was only after I was mature and freed to think and feel for myself that the dream returned in tantalizing wisps, as I sought to find myself and know my own values and my own strength. Others had taken over my life so definitely from the beginning I had never been able to find out what my own inclinations were. There was always a wistful longing to know what I would do on my own, if only I had been given a chance to make a decision. I was more silently dismayed over never being permitted to "be me" than I was over the misery, the domineering and the continual, undeserved punishments.
Always, during the moments of deepest despair throughout my entire, desolate childhood, moments when it would otherwise have been utterly impossible to have gone on, I would recall a smile and remember that at some time in the past, Someone had loved me.
I was in my late twenties before that memory was restored in all its splendor. That memory was not given to me until I had found myself and chosen my own way. With the restoration of that pre-mortal memory came the sure knowledge that some day I was to write. And then it was that Satan came and offered me wealth and fame and a life of luxury if I would write as he directed. That was an awful moment in my life. Not that the offer even tempted me. I was outraged and indignant. It was Lucifer's overwhelming, overpowering personality that was so completely terrifying.
I was not sure I would not be completely destroyed by giving my resolute answer in outward firmness and inward trembling as I said, "I would not write for you if you were to give me the whole world -- and everything upon it. If I ever write it will have to be with a pen dipped in heaven. It will have to be for the glory of God and for the benefit of man."
In that instant he was gone and my prayer followed the expressing desire offered in that grim moment of inspiration, "Dear God, if I ever write, let me write with a pen dipped in heaven."
I am sure that Satan made his offer to others. It may not always have been as openly as was his approach to me. But in some way he held the promise of earthly honors, of wealth and fame dangling before the eyes of those who aspired to write. Hundreds gave heed to his offer, for from that time on the vile sex books of earthly degeneracy and grubbiness, along with the shocking books of crime and violence began to be not only accepted, but acclaimed. And a world sank into a deeper level of degeneracy than it had for many centuries. The darkness became greater, the mud deeper and the evil more intense. Virtue became a thing of mockery and soberness a subject of highest ridicule. Love almost seemed to vanish from the earth as mankind became more animal-like and seemingly lost the ability for natural affection. Only law still held, and it was something to be winked at. Many of the world's law-makers became conceited imbeciles, corrupted and unwise. Individualism, greatness and inspiration vanished in a "follow-the-leaders" game which led nowhere. And those who followed became insipid, unthinking robots with nothing but the ability to make a great noise that silenced individual progress.
Against such loud, mocking derision by the puppets of evil, my voice would remain unheard if it were not for the strength of those who made the same request as I.
I am the least of them all -- the weakest of the weak. But at last God has let me dip my pen in heaven and write the truths so necessary to help save a world from utter and complete destruction. That pen is dipped in love, the love of truth and light. I have written neither for money nor for fame. No royalties have been mine, no paid price accepted by me for any of my works.
My increasing love has been the reward for my efforts, for my love is great and my vision true. All that I have I give freely to the world. I seek no credits or rewards. I only ask that men read that which God has revealed through me in humble prayer. If man will but be as prayerful in reading as I have been filled with humble prayer in the writing, then there is still hope for the world.
And so, beloved ones of earth, I say, come stand with me upon the mountain top and permit me to show you the cause of the darkness that it might be dispelled. Let me lead you to the great Christ Light that you might step out into its glory and abide in the new day.
With compassionate love, unfeigned and true, I reach out to tear asunder the veil of the "Gross darkness that has covered the earth and blinded the minds of the people." With love and tenderness increased a thousand-fold, I will reveal first the weaknesses and the evils and the errors and deceits contained within the earthly mire that you might fully comprehend the issues involved and so step forth into His great Light, redeemed and glorified.